Teia's Story

Fear & All That Jazz

Nothing. Weak. Unworthy. Trash. Useless. These are all misconceptions that we may begin to believe about ourselves at some point because of fear, at least I have. I've allowed fear to torment me, it is a demon that finds us, what we fear, & clinches on tight. It'll suck the life out of you if you allow it, literally.

    I grew up with my Mama introducing me as very shy & timid, but honestly I was scared. I was always scared of something. I don't know how or when it started, but it found me & followed me into my young adulthood. I would never do my best at things because I sought fear in something. Fear of people not liking me, because I was "better." I wouldn't play sports, because I feared any spot light situation. I wouldn't mingle at church, because
I feared people really knowing me & in return - not wanting to keep the friendship. I knewall the things I feared were conquerable, but I felt otherwise. In middle school I began this huge front that I was "bold," basically anything that would portray me as strong. I didn't want to be found out for how fearful I really was. I dragged this into my relationship with God, but things were completely different. I realized for the first time I didn't have Psalm 56:3;

When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.

    So, as I sought to become, my fear developed into trust - trusting in God. Within God I became bolder, with a purpose. When I am weak, He Is strong. I do have worth, because Christ gave Himself for me. I am nothing without Him. This became my heart, Psalm 34:4,

I sought the Lord, & He answered me & delivered me from all my fears.

You see, I became a new person when I accepted Jesus & sought Him (Proverbs 12:15). I
sought Him because I heard He heals the weak, those that were useless became useful; I
wanted the same. I was tired of me. I needed more, because I was on empty. Am I perfect
now, absolutely not. I still struggle with fear at times & sometimes I let it lead me longer
than it should. I'll let a "bad day," turn into a "bad week." However, I have a different
view than I did before, when you truly come to Christ your vision becomes clearer. I
know Whose I am & I know my real worth comes from Christ - not my fear. My fearful
moments push me to lean into Him - by lean I mean fall aimlessly trusting that He has me.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous Do not be frightened, and do
not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go (John 1:9).

Life gets plain 'ol tough at times, but He never forgets. God counts those times for you.
He realizes the changes that have taken place. He understands you have "good reasons,"
for your fears, but He wants you to understand that He is greater than anything that could
ever attempt to consume you (Joshua 1:9). Regardless of how real the fear may seem, He is greater.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen
you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).

with love,

-Teia

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