Here’s a fun fact about little Miss Angel; I have very opposing personality traits all in one person which makes life kind of interesting. I don’t mean this is in a crazy bipolar type tendencies way, but more so for instance I’m a very structured organized person that wants things to go exactly as to plan but I’m also a huge procrastinator, pretty messy, and I like things pretty informal and not structured. Like I said, it makes for an interesting life. I say all that to say that one of my “fun” opposing personality traits that I have is that I’m really open because I think it’s important to be transparent…yet I’m also very guarded and it’s a lot that I don’t share for various reasons. With that being said, if you watched the video on The Self Sufficient Christian towards the end you noticed I was talking about an issue but not really talking about it and that was because I wasn’t really ready to share it because I didn’t want it to be taken out of context. In case it’s not painfully obvious, I always feel like I have to overly explain myself so that the things I say are not taken out of context which is why my videos/blogs are always so long. However, I talked to my pastor and his wife about this topic yesterday and it made me realize that it’s not abnormal for me to feel this way and that maybe other people have these thoughts/concerns as well so I decided to share and here it goes…
Believe it or not, I have a huge complex with the thought of marriage. On one hand I have a strong desire to be married but on the other hand I have quite a few reservations regarding it. Just hear me out; will I get married? Yes I will, but I have some fears associated with it that has definitely pumped the brakes on me wanting to pursue marriage. One of those fears is that I don’t want to end up divorced. You hear Christians say that divorce is not an option but the reality is that is not true. Divorce is very much so an option but it’s up to the two people involved to choose otherwise. There are Christians who get divorced all the time and it’s not because they’re not really saved or that they didn’t really have a relationship with God but simply put marriage is hard work and a daily choice to choose your spouse over divorce. I want to make sure that what I am saying isn’t taken out of context at all; I am not condoning divorce none whatsoever! The bible does not condone divorce and I’m not telling people that it’s okay for them to take the option to divorce at all. The reality however, is that there are saved people who get divorced even in spite of the bible telling husband and wife to stay together. Marriage is so much more than a wedding or a ring. It is work, like a lot of work, and it requires you to selflessly love another person. It’s supposed to be a lifetime commitment not just an update to your facebook relationship status. The other side to it is the idea of FOREVER. That’s a long time….like a REALLY LONG time. In contrast to my thoughts on divorce, I have a fear of feeling like I have to stay in a marriage where in the best way to put it we just end up not liking each other anymore so instead of being husband and wife it’s like we’re just roommates.
The way I view marriage is that it’s the closest thing to really having to understand Jesus’ love for us; well that and having a child. (I’m definitely not saying that you cannot experience or understand this love if you never get married or never have a child). It’s the unconditional love of loving a person in spite of any and everything; having to forgive the unforgivable, having to look beyond all their flaws, having to love the unlovable in them, sticking it out when you don’t feel like it. That’s kind of a scary thought…the thought of having to make the choice to continue to love that person and stay when situations arise that if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend you would end it. I wonder would I have the strength to stay through adultery, addictions, and other things that could happen after we say I do. I’m definitely not trying to act as though there are no deal breakers in marriage so don’t think that I’m saying to stick it out when someone is beating you or something drastic. The reality is however, in your marriage you and your spouse will face some difficult times no matter how saved you both are and you will have a choice to make to forgive them which may not always be an easy decision.
Now to the other side which is just dealing with my mess…I don’t want to get married to this amazing man of God and end up making him an idol because I discover while married that I never allowed myself to completely fall in love with Jesus as a single and allow Him to be completely everything to me as an individual first. I’m just going to go ahead and throw this out there; I am very protective of my purpose (some like to call it guarded with an electric fence and rabid Rottweiler’s) so whoever I choose to yoke myself up with it has to be right no if, ands, or buts about it. Whoever I marry affects me spiritually and that in return will have an influence on God’s ministry that He has given me. I also struggle with the realization that I won’t be perfect going into my marriage and that there will be things that God will have to develop in me as a wife versus a single but also wanting to “get myself together” before becoming a wife. My pastor nicely checked me on that yesterday by saying I can spend so much time trying to get myself together for marriage that I miss the man that God has for me. Insert big eyed emoji! Something that God has had to show me is to not focus on being a better woman to be a wife but to desire to be a better woman to be a better person and that will encompass all aspects of being a woman.
I shared a ton of negative but now I want to share what I was encouraged with in talks that I’ve had with great men and women of God. First John 4:18 tells us that “there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (KJV). This is the verse that popped up in my phone just after I had this conversation with my best friend a few weeks back. She reminded me that God has not given us a spirit of fear so anytime we have fear or anxiety over a situation it’s pretty safe to say that it is not of God. God created marriage to be a great thing; there is no reason to fear it when you allow God to be the center and foundation of your marriage. Will it be easy? No, but God will help you through it and give you both the strength to keep pressing through those hard times and to fight for your marriage. The biggest reality was that I had to trust that God is not going to present me to a jacked up wimpy man with no vision, no leadership skills, or who doesn’t have a heart for Him. He’s protective of my purpose even more than I am so I don’t have to worry about that if I allow Him to do the choosing. Lastly, it’s normal to have the concerns and reservations BUT don’t over think it! Stop worrying! (Matthew 6:25-34). It’s good to take these things into consideration as a single but you don’t have to worry about every single detail of how it all is going to come together. Trust God with it.
Can men and women be friends? Yeah sure they can…but that’s not the right question. My pastor always says that you have to ask the right questions in order to get the right answers. The real question is can men and women be just friends or should they be friends? Do you want the quick and straight to the point answer? It’s NO, nope, no can do, nunca. Want to know why, just continue reading. I will be the first person to say that you are not going to find anywhere in the bible that says men cannot befriend thy women, God forbid! What I’m going to talk about in this blog is going to be my personal opinion from my experience and what I believe God has shown me throughout my relationships, friendships, etc. So now that that is clear let’s get to it!
1. Define friendship: That’s going to be a determining factor in whether or not you think men and women can be just friends. People throw around the term friend so loosely these days it’s lost some of its meaning because everybody they meet is their new bestie. When I think of the word friend I don’t think of someone I say hi and bye to and keep it moving. I’m thinking of someone who I talk to on a pretty regular basis, and I mean like in depth meaningful conversations, someone that I hang out with, someone that I share things about me with, etc. Now this is very surface level general stuff I’m talking about but obviously you can go deeper than that and talk about loyalty, trust, and things of that nature but hopefully you get the idea. When I say men and women can’t be friends I’m talking about real friendships that go beyond a happy birthday post on facebook. So let’s be real for a moment; God didn’t create Eve for Adam to be his friend. He created her to be his wife, his helpmate. Does this mean that every single person is created to be a husband or wife? No, but the point is there was purpose for them yoking up. All your relationships and friendships should have purpose at the end of the day. When it comes to friendships, what purpose do you have with the opposite sex? Just something to think about; and before anyone wants to throw out the whole brother and sister in Christ line, I’m going to get to that later.
2. Good ole attachments: Okay so what is the big deal then with women and men doing things that they would do with friends of the same sex like talking on the phone, hanging out and stuff? It’s a little/big thing called attachments. The more time you spend with a person the more attached you are going to get to them. If I’m talking to you on the phone all the time and we’re hanging out all the time you’re not my friend, we go together. Okay I’m joking…kinda not really. Of course there are going to be those people who say I can be friends with a man or a woman without catching feelings or getting attached. Can we play a quick game? Sure we can! How many of those people of the opposite sex that you were “just friends” with did you end up having feelings for them or they ended up catching feelings for you or always had feelings from the get go? Just saying….Just because you put a person in the friend zone that does not mean that they wanted to be there. Believe it or not people will settle to be your friend because it’s the closest they can get to “being with you” so they’ll settle for that instead of being nothing to you at all. Emotional attachments are real folks. This may sound bad, but just because you may not be physically attracted to a person the more you get to know them you may find yourself attracted to them because of their personality or they’re a good person to talk to. Just because you thought initially you would never be interested in them or vice versa things can change the more you get to know a person.
3. The set up…for failure: I’m not trying to toot my own horn none whatsoever but every single guy that I’ve ever been friends with at some point liked me and I liked the attention because I needed someone to validate me for whatever reason. So I had these guy friends that I kept around because it was great to have a male perspective, I could talk to them about my boyfriend problems, and even better, I always had someone to talk to and take me out whether I was single or not. Can I lay my dirty laundry out for a minute? When I was dating in the world, I had a really bad habit of going to other men when I was upset with my little boyfriend at the time. I always had guy “best friends” to talk to about my relationship problems or for us to go out on what really weren’t dates (sarcasm) or to talk to on the phone…the games that you play and your actions while dating/courting are going to pour over into your marriage if you don’t correct that mess. I don’t know why people think that their bad habits from when they were single are just going to disappear simply because you put a ring on it. Yeah…no…not going to happen if you don’t correct it beforehand.
For those of you who hope to pursue marriage at some point, your spouse is going to be your best friend. You do not want to open up the door for adultery to happen because you have friends of the opposite sex that you want to hang on to. I know somebody is reading this thinking now Angel that is extreme. I’ll admit I’m one of those people that tend to look at things from the end result of the worst case scenario before jumping into it but just hear me out. I always hear married couples talk about how difficult marriage is and I can only imagine. Think of this…you and your spouse have a fight and you go to your friend of the opposite sex to talk about it to get a different perspective. That friend doesn’t nag you like your wife does or he doesn’t ignore you like your husband does and before you know it, you start comparing them. You wish your spouse was more like your friend who just seems to get it, understands you, doesn’t give you problems, and doesn’t fight with you. So now when your friend is trying to comfort you the two of you end up kissing, oops. You end up having sex, oops. You end up committing adultery, you have soul ties, you have a baby with this person, your family is broken…oops, oops, oops, and oops. But I thought y’all were just friends. People think that is extreme…until it happens and it happens all the time and not just in movies.
Can I be honest? I was supposed to write this a long time ago…like I could have written this a year ago… and I didn’t. Partially because I believe there was more that God was trying to show me and also because I didn’t want to share this story…the story of how I came across Heather Lindsey and the pinky promise movement. Someone on twitter retweeted a blog of hers called Can Guys & Girls Be Just Friends? and this just so happened to be the same day that I had planned on having a “heart to heart” with my guy friend…who was getting married…about how I didn’t want us to stop being friends just because he was going to have a wife now…who wasn’t me. I kept telling myself that I didn’t want to lose our friendship because he was a great friend and a great guy and I loved him and we could still be friends even though he was getting married. *Insert violins and dramatic sad song* The truth was at some point he liked me and at some point I liked him just never at the same time. His soon to be wife had never met me although we were "friends", him and I talked on the phone, went out to eat together, and everything. The reality was I didn’t want him to get married and I wanted him to always want to be with me (I had some issues lol) but I wasn’t going to break up a soon to be marriage so I tried to keep the friend card. The truth is ugly ain’t it? The harsh reality is that I set myself up for failure and the potential of being a side chick. Sidenote: don't interfere with people's relationships whether they're married, courting, dating, or whatever just don't do it.
4. The Brother/Sister in Christ: It would be so lovely to say that as the body of Christ we see each other as literally relatives in Christ and there is no attraction because it would be as if I like my sibling…Come on Christians let’s be honest. You can be saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost and find your brother or sister in Christ attractive even when you know that person is not your Adam or your Eve. (As I was writing this it made me think of this funny clip) It is easy to be attracted to the Christ you see in a person even though you have no intentions of pursuing that person. So many people don’t want to admit that but you deal with things by acknowledging it but that’s a different blog so I digress. Anywho I say all that to say this is why it is important to establish boundaries! Even with your group of saved friends you still need to have boundaries when it comes to the opposite sex. I have a great church family that I love but I don’t consider any of the guys I go to church with my friends. They are my brothers in Christ and we don’t go out on 1:1 lunches, dinners, or anything else. We don’t talk on the phone for long periods if at all really and if we’re doing things it’s typically focused around church and in a group setting. As brothers and sisters in Christ we’re there to push each other to Christ and encourage one another in our walk and I’m definitely not saying that men and women can’t do that, however, there still needs to be boundaries created. Don’t kid yourself and think that the devil will not try to tempt you with one of your brothers or sisters in Christ. I’m not having any 1:1 bible studies, prayer time, or anything else on an individual basis with any of my brothers in Christ. Nothing personal against any of them at all but you have to create boundaries and be wise enough to not put yourself in situations that the devil can use as an opportunity to tempt you.
As I stated earlier, this is my personal opinion that I came too based off of experience and what God has shown me throughout my walk. I’ve read different perspectives on this topic but I had to come to this conclusion for myself as far as what works for me. For me personally, creating these boundaries with men is a means of making sure that the relationships and friendships I create with people are honoring God and that when I eventually get married my husband will not have any questions regarding the men in my life. The reality is this, men and women do have the option to be friends but here's another reality to consider: 1 Corinthians 10:23, You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is good for you. You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is beneficial (NLT).
So they’re a Christian, a really nice person, they dress nice, smell good, they show interest in you but one problem…you’re just not interested. So what do you do? Let me tell you what you don’t do and that is settle! We have a tendency as Christians to believe that there is a shortage of good Christian men/women and if we find just one that shows us interest then we should probably go with it because it’s “hard” to find people really on fire for God like you, right? WRONG! God knows exactly who He has pre-ordained you to be with and you don’t have to go finding them okay. Psalm 37:4 tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our heart, therefore our focus should be on God and not our desires. But furthermore, we must trust God to get it right! He knows what’s best and He definitely does not need our help in picking the one that we want. We’ll mess around and try and “help” God to find our future boo and end up with booboo the fool. I digress, back to the topic at hand.
God ordained relationships/friendships they just work if that makes sense. You don’t have to make yourself like the person simply because they are a Christian and you will have peace about it. There was a point where any man that was a Christian I wondered hmh could that be my husband? I really wasn’t interested in any of them but I figured they’re a Christian so if he pursues me that must make him “the one” right? Feel free to high five me…in my face…with a chair. I believe the reason people settle for the they’re a “good Christian,” comes from the fear of possibly not finding “the one” so now when any “one” gives you play, you think hey might as well go for it. I know this may sound crazy, but stop settling for what appears to be a “good man or woman” when you know they are not who God called you to be with. Just because they are a great person that does not mean they are God’s best for YOU. So yes, it is settling when you choose that "good Christian" when God gave you the no go on that person. No matter how good they are, simply put they still are not the one for you and guess what? That's okay.
So now you've decided you're not going to settle but how do you decline a good Christian man/woman that you are not interested in? Be respectful. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you’re interested in them and it can also be really embarrassing when declined. You can say you know I appreciate the interest or the compliment but I’m really focused on my relationship with God right now and I don’t want anything to distract me from that. I have told people that I am on a self love journey and nothing personal, but I’m taking the time to learn who I am in Christ and as an individual before adding anyone else into the mix. Be honest and up front with people and make it clear from the get go that you are not interested in pursuing anything beyond a brother/sister in Christ type of relationship. You can say this without saying “uhm God did not tell me that you are my husband or my wife so deuces be easy!” Don’t be rude; it doesn’t reflect Christ likeness and it's unattractive…just saying.
Now some people are quite persistent and can’t take a hint or you being up front…Before I go into this I want to be clear; you have to make sure that you are not leading people on that you are not interested in! So many of us avoid conflict and uncomfortable conversations so instead of saying thanks but no thanks we say let me pray about it or let me think about it. No! Shut it down from the beginning and don’t dangle people along simply because you like the attention. We are not thirsty for the attention of people but we’re thirsty for God. Now on to the persistent man or woman that thinks you’re playing hard to get for some reason, you have to lay it on the table and make it plain. Still, you DO NOT have to be rude or disrespectful in doing this.
I’ll be honest, there have been people that I have wanted to tell to go back into their prayer closet because God has made it very clear to me that they are not my Adam and I know He did not tell them that I was their Eve but they don’t quite seem to get that memo. Sometimes you have to plainly put it, I’m not sure what impression you’re getting but I’m not interested and I want to make that clear so that you’re not led on to believe that I am. I don't play games, it's real...just as real as a restraining order...okay maybe you can leave that part out. Also be mindful of a person’s motives because some people will try to “getcha” when you decline their advances by trying to spend time with you or talk to you more by asking for your phone number to get “spiritual guidance” or advice or inviting you to “church” things to spend time with you and not to grow in God. Pray for them because they are clearly not being led by the Holy Spirit but also shut it down. One of the best ways to shut this down is directing them to a person of the same sex for guidance/advice. Allow the Holy Spirit to show you their motives and whether or not they’re intentions are genuine or not and how to proceed with them.
We have to remember that our spouse is created to be our help meet so not just any person can step into that role. Just because a person is a Christian that does not mean they have to be your Christian! Don’t let people give you the line of “well I’m saved and you’re saved and we both love Jesus.” And? That makes us brother and sister in Christ, the end. Last but not least, don’t allow other people to tell you that the Lord “told” them that you are going to be their son or daughter in law. If the Lord did not tell you that it’s pretty safe to say that’s not confirmed and that's a prophelie and not a prophecy. Sometimes you have to sing a little hymn to yourself entitled “The devil is a lie, all the lies you tell.” Guard your hearts folks and keep your eyes focused on God and He will make it clear to you when you need to look over to acknowledge your spouse.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I believe it’s pretty safe to say that I’m speaking for the majority when I say that one of the most difficult things in life is learning to deal with people. We encounter a number of different types of people whether it may be at work, school, or even in ministry and often times the people that we meet have completely different ways of handling things than we do and in the nicest way to put it are just difficult. There is always a purpose behind the people that God allows in our lives and as much as we wish some of them would go away :) there’s more than likely a lesson that we can learn from the situations we face in dealing with people. I can honestly say in the last month, I feel like I have been being attacked in this area on a pretty regular basis so I figured instead of complaining about it and praying that I will stop being attacked, I needed to look at what God is trying to show me and how He’s trying to help me to grow in this season. This list is in no particular order and FYI some is biblical and some are my opinions based off of experience.
1. You have to set boundaries for yourself!!! We have a tendency, especially with ministry stuff, to want to help everyone and we extend ourselves beyond what God has asked of us and now, in the words of my pastor, we’re burned out, busted, and disgusted. I’m going to hope that this is a given but it needs to be said anyways… are you ready? YOU ARE NOT GOD! Stop trying to be superman/woman and trying to be everything to everybody! FYI I’m preaching to myself right now, ya’ll just happen to be tuned in reading this…I struggle with wanting to help everybody and they’re momma and because of that it leaves me drained, irritable, and lacking where I don’t have to be because God never told me to do it. It is okay to say no and I want to be very clear in what I’m about to say so that it is not taken out of context…yes you should pray, yes it is a necessity in the believer’s life but you really don’t have to take the time to pray about everything. Now before you pull my Christian card, let me explain…what I mean by this is God will give you a clear NO about certain things. Yes sometimes you do need to go and take time for the Holy Spirit to guide you on it, but oftentimes God answers with a loud and clear NO and we say you know, well let me pray about it. God gave you the answer you just didn’t like it so you ignored it, call it what it is. That’s a different topic but nonetheless, people will take as much as you are willing to give so you have to learn how to guard yourself so that you don’t become drained. You cannot effectively help anyone if you are weak and your foundation is shaky because you are constantly pouring out but not being replenished. In ministry we can have a tendency to want to be everyone’s support system, prayer warrior, accountability partner, and encourager and we just want to help everybody. Here’s the reality, you can’t. You will be burned out and completely drained. Also stop giving everybody and their momma your number. It’s okay for you have your personal stuff that only people who are the closest to you can reach you on. Don’t feel bad for saying that you don’t give out your personal number or email. THAT’S OKAY! Stop letting people guilt you into doing things that God never told you to do. Set boundaries, guard your heart.
2. Don’t hold on to who hurt you: I know that’s so much easier said than done but when that root is planted it can be difficult to let go of. There was a situation that happened this past week that I felt as though someone who I wouldn’t say we were besties but I had a decent relationship with, I felt as though she completely threw me under the bus. So I’m venting to my best friend about it and she said well maybe this is an opportunity to be like Jesus and love in spite of what people do to you. I’ll be honest….my response was “I’m not trying to be Jesus!” and I jokingly laughed it off. Yes I was in my feelings, yes I was wrong, don’t condemn me to hell, pray for me folks. I know I shouldn't have jokingly said that but it serves a point so bare with me. Later on that day, I have my quiet time and I’m praying about the situation and God nicely reminded me of that comment that I “jokingly” made and said that’s the problem; you aren’t trying to reflect Christ likeness. As Jesus is hanging on the cross and people are standing below Him sneering and mocking Him, He says to God, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV). Jesus had every right to be upset, fuss, yell, tell them off, but instead He asked God to forgive them. Yes people will hurt you, sometimes intentionally other times maybe not, but you can’t afford to allow those seeds of anger, betrayal, or bitterness to be planted and hinder you from showing Christ likeness. People will try to get you to act out of character especially when you carry the title of “Christian” so when you act like a fool they can look you up and down and say “but you’re supposed to be a Christian.” I think sometimes people believe that because we are Christians that we HAVE to put up with any and everything or that we can’t be upset. I beg to differ; God did not create us to be weak, door mats, or people’s verbal punching bags. Furthermore, His word tells us to be angry but sin not (Ephesians 4:26). It’s okay to be angry but it’s how we respond that makes the difference between us and those who don’t belong to Christ. The longer you hold onto whatever or whoever hurt you the more way you give for sin to begin to take root in unforgiveness. You can’t afford that. Let go of who hurt you.
a. BONUS: Don’t take it personal: Most people who do things or say things to hurt you, it really has absolutely nothing to do with you. Does that it make it okay? No, but if you can learn not to take it personal you’ve already won half the battle. Pray for the people who've hurt you and ask God to change your heart towards them and also to change their hearts. The more you magnify the problem the more you will be focused on what is wrong. Choose to magnify the desire to want to see Gods best in their life instead and God will begin to pull off the layers of hurt in you.
3. Forgive quickly: Matthew 6:15 tells us that if we don’t forgive others for their sins than God won’t forgive us. It’s so easy to want to justify our unforgiveness by saying well so and so hurt me, or they’ve done the unthinkable to me and I could never forgive them. Imagine if God responded to us in that way when we sin against Him. I think sometimes we have the misconception that forgiving a person means that we still have to be buddy buddy with them and hold hands together and walk through the park. Uhm no, I whole heartedly believe that you can forgive a person and go your separate ways. Everyone is not meant to be in your life and sometimes forgiveness also comes with cutting ties and that’s perfectly okay but you have to forgive. It’s also not just about forgiving but learning to forgive quickly. Unforgiveness hurts you, not them. Remember that. Learn to accept an apology you never got and may never get.
4. Try the spirit by the spirit: So jacked up Jackie showed you that her true color was doo doo brown yet you kept trying to make it pretty and perfect pink. Now you got burned and you “never saw it coming.” Lies. Jackie showed you she was up to no good but you refused to see it. That's not Jackie's fault, that's on you honey. God will not blind side you with people, but you have to learn how to allow the Holy Spirit to give you the insider details on a person. The Holy Spirit will check you on people but you have to pay attention! We have a tendency to see what we want to see in people especially if it’s someone that we want to be in a relationship with or befriend. God’s trying to keep you from some mess, but you keep trying to make things work with relationships that are messing you up because you had no business being yoked up with that person. Pay attention to the signs about people that God shows you. Believe it or not, He really does know who is best for you and who can bring out the best in you and also who will bring out the worst. When people show you their true colors stop acting like you’re color blind and don’t see it! What’s a red flag today will likely still be a red flag 5-10 years from now. Pay attention.
5.You can’t carry other peoples burdens/don’t be an enabler: I get it, you want to help right? You want people to feel connected to you. You want to encourage people and hold their hand through the struggle/the process. Trust me I get it. Here’s the thing, people have a tendency to constantly dump their stuff on you not even intentionally sometimes but because they see or think that you’re strong in your faith so they believe you can get a prayer through. They keep dumping their problems on you and you keep receiving it and now it’s weighing you down. Instead of them seeking God, they’re seeking you to help them. They run to you, not God, when they need relief or an encouraging word. They don’t open their bible they turn to their phone or email to reach you. Now you’re over here feeling empty because you’re all poured out yet no one is pouring into you. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my walk with Christ is that I cannot be effective in sharing Christ with people if I’m burned out, empty, and all over the place. You have to realize that if your own burden is not for you to carry, why do you think God wants you to carry someone else’s? You have to learn to pray for others but also point each other to Christ and the word so that people do not become dependent on you and before you know it now you’re a “god” to this person. Yup you’re they’re idol and no human being can replace God point blank and the period the end.
This is not everything but just a bit of what God placed on my heart. We will always have to deal with people; it just is what it is. Allow God to give you guidance and direction because He knows how to deal with each and every one of us. Be encouraged!